Eight Years Later: Her Name is Sarah…

This week, I was given an unexpected and priceless gift. After I said my name to introduce myself to a stranger, her eyes widened as a smile broke across her face, and she said, “You’re Sarah’s mom!” 

My heart leapt in my chest. It had been so long since I heard those precious words together, “Sarah’s mom.” A cascade of tears instantly spilled down my cheeks and continued to flow intermittently throughout the day. 

There is a pervasive misconception that bereaved parents speaking their child’s name and recounting memories of their child is somehow inappropriate, unhealthy, or means they are “stuck in their grief.” 

Consequently, as time marches on, many bereaved parents feel less and less freedom to speak about their children. At the same time, their child’s name is spoken more and more infrequently by others, until eventually their child’s name is rarely heard at all. 

Eight years ago today my precious Sarah died.

I used to shy away from saying “she died.” Instead, I would say “she left,” “she went Home,” or “she went to Heaven.” All of those statements are equally true and focus on the glorious eternal perspective of what happened in that moment. 

But in speaking of my experience as her mother, saying “she died” more effectively conveys the devastating earthly impact of that day. My child died and my heart was shattered eight years ago today.

Praise God, the story does not end there, though. 

Sarah fully surrendered her life to Christ, writing shortly before her death, “We are like a wisp of smoke. We are only here a moment. And this is not about us. Life is not about us.  It’s about God who is eternal. So I want to dedicate the one moment I’m here completely and entirely to him.” 

Sarah is with her Lord and Savior Jesus Christ right now. By His blood, though she died yet she lives. She is alive right now and forever more. And by His blood, I, too, have the certainty of joining Him and Sarah “in just a little while,” never to part again (Heb. 10:37).

Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life; he who believes in Me will live even if he dies” John 11:25 NASB95

As followers of Jesus Christ, we should be a people who readily and rightly lament death and the weight and sorrow of separation it holds as a tragic consequence of sin. We should lovingly grieve and weep with those who grieve and weep.

But we do not want you to be uninformed, brethren, about those who are asleep, so that you will not grieve as do the rest who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who have fallen asleep in Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 NASB95

At the same time, we who believe that “to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord” should enthusiastically remember faithful believers who have gone before us, knowing with certainty that they are alive and that through Christ Jesus we will soon see them again. 

Sarah is alive. She is my child, and I am her mom.

Sarah is not behind me in my past, she is before me in my future. I am eagerly waiting to see her again. I didn’t stop being her mom when she died. She is alive and I am exceedingly proud to be her mom. 

As I pondered how proud I felt to be recognized and referred to as “Sarah’s mom” this week, I felt a twinge of condemnation, a concern that there could be some type of sin in the delight it brought. In response, I prayerfully asked the Lord to show me His truth as I searched His Word.

John wrote in 3 John 1:4, “I have no greater joy than this, to hear of my children walking in the truth.” Though John was speaking of his children in the faith, it applies to my joy derived from Sarah and her sisters as they are each both my biological and spiritual children.

I have no greater joy than this, to hear of my children walking in the truth. 3 John 1:4 NASB95

What precious words of comfort. It is good and right to recognize and rejoice over our children who walk in truth. This is the “pride” I felt and feel each time I hear Sarah’s name. 

I rejoice that the Lord allowed me to be Katelyn, Kristen, Sarah, and Sophie’s mother. I have repeatedly told them from the time they were tiny, and I trust they each know with confidence that I have no greater joy here than seeing each of them walk in truth with Christ. 

Sarah chose to “live redeemed” and “walk as a child of light.” She humbly yet victoriously ran the race set before her, and she finished well. Her faithfulness in Christ is worthy of being remembered and imitated, and in that my soul rightly rejoices. 

Brethren, join in following my example, and observe those who walk according to the pattern you have in us. Philippians 3:17 NASB95

The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice, And he who sires a wise son will be glad in him. Let your father and your mother be glad, And let her rejoice who gave birth to you. Proverbs 23:24-25 NASB95