Alone With God Alone

I have an intrinsic longing to be part of a team. I deeply love and crave the experience of walking and serving wholeheartedly with others. Yet it seems so much of my journey is one of solitude. I awoke at 2 am this morning with a deep sense of aloneness. I grappled in prayer over the thoughts and emotions that prompted it, but recognized the need and calling to get up to confront them and it with Scripture.

Struggling to see clearly through tired eyes, I picked up my laptop rather than my Bible. I knew I needed a Psalm to pray but my muddled mind was blank. Suddenly, it was as if someone audibly spoke “Psalm 62.” I pulled up Psalm 62 and slowly read and pondered each verse. My aloneness quickly dissipated as it was confronted by the greatness of God alone.

“For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken. On God rests my salvation and my glory; my mighty rock, my refuge is God. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us. Selah” Psalm 62:5-8 ESV

My soul’s desire must be a sole desire for God alone. He alone is my hope, my salvation, my fortress, my mighty rock, and my refuge. He alone is worthy of my hope, trust, and desire. He alone will never leave us nor forsake us.

Once God has spoken; twice have I heard this: that power belongs to God, and that to you, O Lord, belongs steadfast love. For you will render to a man according to his work. Psalm 62:11-12 ESV

Psalm 62 gloriously displays His power alongside His lovingkindness. We are reminded His omnipotent power makes Him alone worthy to be our stronghold, refuge, and rock. And yet His merciful lovingkindness allows us to approach Him and vulnerably pour out our hearts before Him.

My midnight cry of aloneness was prompted by an unfulfilled desire for comradery. It stands as convicting testimony to my failure to keep God alone as my soul’s sole desire. Yet, His compassionate lovingkindness is once again displayed through the gentleness of His delivery of that needed conviction as I poured out my heart before Him.

If you find yourself grappling with disappointment or aloneness this morning, I pray you, too, will heed the call of the Psalmist to “Trust in Him at all times, O people; Pour out your heart before Him.” I can testify with a renewed spirit and fullness of hope that God is indeed “a refuge for us” (v.12).

“The psalmist’s whole being is, as it were, but one stillness of submission. The noises of contending desires, the whispers of earthly hopes, the mutterings of short-sighted fears, the self-asserting accents of an insisting will, are hushed, and all his nature waits mutely for God’s voice. No wonder that a psalm which begins thus should end with “God hath spoken once, twice have I heard this”; for such waiting is never in vain. The soul that cleaves to God is still; and, being still, is capable of hearing the Divine whispers which deepen the silence which they bless. “There is no joy but calm”; and the secret of calm is to turn the current of the being to God. Then it is like a sea at rest.”

Alexander Maclaren

Artwork by Sarah Harmening