& seeking to walk in His ways ~ Joshua 22:5
When Sarah died, the desperation of the agonizing pain of loss drove me to the feet of Jesus. As each new aspect of the sorrow of her absence crashed down upon me, the shocks repeatedly drove me to Him and His Word. It was survival, not effort. I was acutely aware that in every sense, … Continue reading Prone to Wander, Lord, I Feel It
Some of you may know through social media, but for those who don't, I am very excited to share the launch of Little Cricket Charity with you. If you have a few minutes, I'd love to share my heart with you regarding this ministry. Not the official ministry vision and mission (on the website), but … Continue reading Little Cricket Charity
"Today marks 3000 days since we were separated from Sarah." Those are the incomprehensible words of the text my husband sent me this morning. It took my breath away to read it. I don't track time like that, probably intentionally. I am acutely aware that the separation from our precious daughter has been agonizingly long, … Continue reading 3000 Days
This week, I was given an unexpected and priceless gift. After I said my name to introduce myself to a stranger, her eyes widened as a smile broke across her face, and she said, “You’re Sarah’s mom!” My heart leapt in my chest. It had been so long since I heard those precious words together, … Continue reading Eight Years Later: Her Name is Sarah…
Today is Sarah's birthday, our eighth without her. "Eight." Such an inadequate number to describe the span of my painfully missing and longing for my child. "Forever" seems a much more accurate description of the agonizing length of time since I last held her, saw the gleam in her eyes, and delighted in hearing her … Continue reading “Sarah Day”
Lying awake in the still of the night last night, a seemingly endless reel of joyful family memories played in my mind's eye. One by one, snapshots of time flashed in the dark, countless precious memories of savored days long gone by. But as the clock ticked on, I eventually came to the abrupt ending … Continue reading Incomplete Yet Full of Hope
I have an intrinsic longing to be part of a team. I deeply love and crave the experience of walking and serving wholeheartedly with others. Yet it seems so much of my journey is one of solitude. I awoke at 2 am this morning with a deep sense of aloneness. I grappled in prayer over … Continue reading Alone With God Alone
Oxford English Dictionary defines pillar figuratively as "a person seen as a source of support or stability; esp. one of the main supporters of some principle or institution, as pillar of the establishment, etc.; (more generally) a person who holds a position of public importance or respectability, as pillar of society, etc. Also: a person who possesses or displays some … Continue reading “Has the Pillar Moved?”
"Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us" Hebrews 12:1 NASB Unbeknownst to many, today is National Bereaved Parents Day, and July is … Continue reading The Test of Endurance
The moment we hear the incomprehensible words that our child has died we instantly recognize the devastation as catastrophic. But in the weeks, months, and years that follow we are involuntarily tasked with discovering the many detailed and varied points of impact. Each sharp pain or deep sorrow is another point in our mapping out … Continue reading Seventh Year Sabbath
Listening to Him 