Lying awake in the still of the night last night, a seemingly endless reel of joyful family memories played in my mind’s eye. One by one, snapshots of time flashed in the dark, countless precious memories of savored days long gone by. But as the clock ticked on, I eventually came to the abrupt ending of our family’s reel.
June 8, 2017, held the last precious frames of our complete family’s reel—unbeknownst to us at the time—final hugs and parting goodbyes. It also held the excruciating first frames of a new reel, that of our incomplete family.
As I watch the reel of our incomplete family, the contrast between the frames is jarring: indescribably painful moments of deep grief, suffering, anguish, and despair interspersed with precious moments of divine comfort, unwavering love, prevailing peace, and inexpressible joy. I’m struck afresh by the now-familiar realization that the dark frames highlight the light ones, making them ever-increasingly more meaningful.
The reel slows with fresh frames from last week: the priceless redemptive gift of gathering with bereaved parents in Botswana for a time of understanding and encouragement, the immeasurable blessing of hosting pastors and church leaders from across Botswana for a conference on Biblical lament and caring for grieving families, and treasured time away with ministry partners God has so graciously knit into our incomplete yet growing family.
The insomnia that allowed me time to indulge in viewing the reels was likely prompted by our tumbling toward Sarah’s birthday, December 20th, our eighth without her. That, of course, will be immediately followed by our eighth Christmas without her. Though we have learned how to navigate these difficult days, they continue to unavoidably shine a spotlight on the void of Sarah’s absence, painfully highlighting the incompleteness of our family.
As I ponder both reels of our family, complete and incomplete, with this spotlight on her absence brightly shining, each frame gloriously displays one priceless treasure—Hope.
- Hope that our God is compassionate and merciful and cares for our every sorrow (James 5:11)
- Hope that our God is long-suffering and forgiving, remembering that we are but dust, and graciously and lavishly forgiving and restoring us again and again (Psalm 103)
- Hope that He is faithful, that He will sustain and carry us, never leaving nor forsaking us (Matthew 11:28-30)
- Hope that this life is but a flicker, a vapor, and a glorious eternity awaits us (James 4:14)
- Hope that though our precious Sarah died, she is alive with Him today (2 Corinthians 5:8)
- Hope that our Sovereign and Mighty Redeemer can and will bring good out of everything – even the worst things (Romans 8:28)
- Hope that our Lord and Savior is coming again to wipe every tear away, to make all things right, and to destroy death once and for all (Revelation 21:1-6)
- Hope that leads us to joy inexpressible and full of glory (1 Peter 1:3-9)
If you find yourself tumbling through difficult days as well, I pray you will choose to hold tightly to the Hope freely available in Jesus Christ.
“This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, a [hope] both sure and steadfast and one which enters within the veil, where Jesus has entered as a forerunner for us, having become a high priest forever according to the order of Melchizedek.” Hebrews 6:19-20 NASB95
Listening to Him 