The Test of Endurance

“Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us”
Hebrews 12:1 NASB

Unbeknownst to many, today is National Bereaved Parents Day, and July is Bereaved Parents Awareness Month. My heart aches as I consider the many families experiencing the indescribable sorrow being commemorated today and this month, particularly those understanding in a painfully new way as they press through their first year in the absence of their precious children. As I think of them I can’t help but ponder the past seven years in Sarah’s absence.

I recently read an article that said marathons are tests of endurance while sprints are tests of speed. Those running a marathon must pace themselves to finish the race, while sprinters burst into the race with explosive yet short-lived energy. As I read I was reminded of the course we face as bereaved parents, and the imperative to understand the race we are running.

I vividly remember the deep anguish of those first days, weeks, and months following Sarah’s death. Heaven had a new and tangible nearness the instant she went there. After the initial shock of her death subsided, the concept and importance of running the race set before me began to deeply resonate in my heart as never before.

As inexpressible sorrow and desperate urgency churned within me, I began sprinting homeward. I was fueled by a longing to “finish well” to honor and please my Savior and God, but also by a deep longing to embrace the most precious “witness” awaiting me there, my sweet Sarah. And to a lesser yet still significant degree, I was fueled by a longing to escape my sorrow and all the heartache and brokenness of this world.

I burst onto the course with my eyes fixed on the goal, running with all my might toward it. I ran and ran, but incomprehensibly the goal seemed to drift further and further away. With ever-increasing and disillusioning clarity I began to understand the potential longevity of the course set before me. As weariness overtook me, I realized the agony and adrenaline from the death of my child had so disoriented me that I had lost perspective of the race I was running—I was sprinting a marathon.

The course of child loss or, more specifically, the course of following Christ through child loss is not a test of speed, it is a test of endurance. Though the world around us might seek to rush us hurriedly through sorrow, grief, and life in general, our gentle and compassionate Savior does not. He is instead tenderly beckoning us to draw near to Him so He Himself can strengthen us to endure the marathon before us.

“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30 NASB95

As we draw near to Him in stillness and quietness, waiting upon Him, He redemptively uses the sorrow and suffering of our grief as a refining flame, testing our faith and producing the very endurance needed to run the course set before us.

“…the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have [its] perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” James 1:3-4 NASB95

But even more glorious than that, as you purposefully draw near to Him in your brokenness, He will draw near to you and “fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience” (Col. 1:9-11 NIV).

Be encouraged dear fellow broken-hearted sojourner, He who is ever-faithful will strengthen you to run the race and endure with “great endurance and patience,” just as He did Job and countless others who now stand cheering us on as witnesses to His faithfulness. Let’s faithfully encourage one another as well, and all the more as we see the day approaching… (Heb. 10:25)

“We count those blessed who endured. You have heard of the endurance of Job and have seen the outcome of the Lord’s dealings, that the Lord is full of compassion and [is] merciful.” James 5:11 NASB

“Therefore, do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God, you may receive what was promised. FOR YET IN A VERY LITTLE WHILE, HE WHO IS COMING WILL COME, AND WILL NOT DELAY. BUT MY RIGHTEOUS ONE SHALL LIVE BY FAITH; AND IF HE SHRINKS BACK, MY SOUL HAS NO PLEASURE IN HIM. But we are not of those who shrink back to destruction, but of those who have faith to the preserving of the soul.” Hebrews 10:35-39 NASB95

Come, Lord Jesus.

I would love to encourage you with my personal testimony of God’s faithfulness in Sifted: Diary of a Grieving Mother.
On Sale for Bereaved Parents Month through the links below.

Learn more about Sifted through this podcast interview with Jill Sullivan at While We’re Waiting.

Sifted is also available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Wal-Mart.

Artwork: Sarah Harmening